Reading about a seven legged, hermaphrodite lamb with missing bowel parts inevitably causes one to ponder his or her existence. Assuming that you believe this story is true (which I don’t on the count of there’s just one photo being circulated out there), you must ask “Why?”

Here’s are this morning’s watercooler comments about the little lamb:

• Seven is a lucky number.
• That’s a sign of the apocalypse.
• That’s another sign that we need to ease up on plastic water bottle usage.
• Do you read Revelations? The number seven comes up a lot.
• It could be God trying new things.
• Without the hermaphrodite part, I might have believed it.
• Think of all the good meat we could get off that thing.
• Photoshop is awesome

What do you think?

_ Erlina

Poison has been rockin’ out and breakin’ hearts since the ’80s. The quartet, headed up by the dreamy blue-eyed Bret Michaels wrote songs that had chicks who were high on Aqua Net with over-teased bangs fainting in their seats; songs like “Nothin’ But a Good Time,” “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” “Talk Dirty to Me” and “I Want Action” were among the bands most popular.

Michaels is still breakin’ hearts, but not only by playing music, the guy has his own show on VH-1 called “Rock of Love.” Michaels claims he is in search of the perfect “rock ‘n’ roll girlfriend,” which, judging by the contestants who are trying “win his heart” on the show, must be code for “young, big breasted, crazy and blonde.”

Poison is currently on tour and makes a stop at 7 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 12 at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater (8808 Irvine Center Drive, Irvine. 949-855-8095). Tickets are $15-$49.50 and available at ticketmaster.com.

- KELLI SKYE

(Pictured from left to right: Billie Jean King, John McEnroe and Maria Sharapova)

Professional tennis usually is a shhh sport. Whispers are all that’s allowed. Not so at Newport Beach’s World Team Tennis match Wednesday between Maria Sharapova’s Newport Beach Breakers and John McEnroe’s New York Sportstimes.

The fans were boisterous, the 1970s music loud, and the players loved it.
I’ve been to many pro tennis matches, and this is the first time I’ve seen Sharapova’s personality on the court. She had fun, laughed, talked, smiled … and oh yeah, still grunted on every serve.

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She looked like a runway model in a tennis skirt, a 6-foot-1 blonde beauty who towered over her female counterparts and looked eye to eye to most of the men. Living in Manhattan Beach, she made the easy drive to Newport on Wednesday to play WTT. She teased McEnroe about his ‘two shades of blue’ pregame outfit, and McEnroe amazingly took it quite well.

McEnroe, now 48 years old, showed a bit of humbleness before the match, saying for the first time in his life he feels like Father Time has a two-set lead on him. He still posseses those magic hands at the net, and his sweet backhand volley in men’s doubles secured the match that gave the Sportstimes an easy victory over the Breakers in the final match of the season.

McEnroe, once known as The Brat for boorish attitude on court, was as sweet as could be Wednesday. After hitting a 116-mile serve for an ace, he rolled up his sleeve and flexed his muscle for the sellout crowd. A fan yelled ‘Johnny Mac!’ and McEnroe turned and said ‘(Rafael) Nadal is jealous.’

There were six other players on the court on Wednesday, four on each team, including Laguna Beach’s Rick Leach who played for the Breakers, but no doubt the fans bought tickets to see Sharapova and McEnroe. And they didn’t disappoint.

Every fan 16 years and younger received a free tennis racket and ball. After the game they were invited to get autographs.

The line lasted 25 minutes. The players didn’t seem to mind.

The three week WTT season will resume around this time next year. Sharapova plans to return but McEnroe wasn’t as sure.

- SCOTT ALBERT and LAILA D.

My good friend Trisha was shooting photos at the Pacific Amphitheatre the other night and snapped this shot because she swore that the man with the arrow pointing to his head was the one and only Chuck Norris. She could not confirm that this was, in fact, Chuck Norris, but did report that he was dancing in his seat.

Since we’re already on the subject, I found a website dedicated to “facts” about Mr. Norris. These facts include, “Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people,” and “Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.” For more Chuck Norris “facts” and some pretty sweet looking T-shirts check out this website.

- KELLI SKYE

Which is the worst tan on a SqueezeOC staffer?

I picked up these “fly” lollipops as a funny treat for my husband’s 36th birthday. I just couldn’t pass them up.

You wear Grillz on your teeth and suck on the attached lollipop, which comes in two flavas: Gold (peach) and Silver (strawberry).

They’re made by Candy Planet, and I found them at our local Blockbuster Video store. Check out the candy maker’s Web site for more info.

~Cynthia

The Newport Beach Breakers end their season this Wednesday, July 25 at the Newport Beach Country Club. Tickets are sold out but hunting for one or two on craigslist or ebay might be a successful alternative and well worth the effort, considering the lineup. Maria Sharapova, the world’s No. 2 female tennis player, will head the Breakers against John McEnroe and the New York Sportimes. 

Just in case you’re not familiar with the World TeamTennis (WTT) game format, it goes a little something like this: Each match will consist of five sets, with one set each of men’s and women’s singles, men’s and women’s doubles and mixed doubles. The first team to reach five games wins each set. Each team consists of two men, two women and a coach.

The Breakers are co-owned by WTT founder Billie Jean King. Profits from the game go to Hoag Hospital. Hope to see you there!